Friday, November 28, 2008

Black Friday

So I woke up early today, I need a lot of shirts and pants and this is the best day to purchase these stuff so I thought. I went to a local KOHL'S department store, I was able to park ok, and initially did not see a lot of people in the store.

I picked a total of 9 items, went to the fitting room, then went straight to the cashier area but what do you know the line is now very long, I was, wtf, where in the hell did these people came from, so ok I fall in line and noticed that several people are prepared for this scenario, one guy brought in 3 books and he started reading and the lady in front me took her ipod out and started listening to music while seeping hot coffee.

I was just, wow these people are smart, I could have done the same thing, I guess they do this annually. If the store have wi-fi, I could have brought my laptop and could have played poker while waiting.

Anyway, after waiting for 15 minutes I noticed that the line is not even moving so I computed pot odds(money I'm going to save if I buy these items) and all my outs(time I'm going to spend) and I concluded that it's -EV to continue.

So I started heading out of the store, threw all the stuff I picked on an empty shelf and yelled, "The hell with this line", one guy from way behind answered, "Shut the hell up", I said to my self, "No he didn't", I answered back, "you come down and make me", but nobody seems coming, "Whew", luckily he folded and did not call my bluff, I quietly took down the small imaginary pot and left hastily.

When I got out, the parking lot is so full that it took me a couple minutes to find my car, Where is that car?. Speaking of where, one guy from another forum wants to know where my buddy Chuck is, another forumer said to type, "Where is Chuck Norris?" on google and yall should get the answer.

Click this link for more Chuck Norris videos,http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdD54rG9oQA

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Funny Live Poker Names

We all have names, most are common and some are unique, some are dull and some are funny. I was watching a couple of NBA games and saw this guy who's name is Chris willcocks, I thought that was kind a funny. Then there is this Matt Boner of the Spurs. I wonder what would be the conversation on the opposing locker, could be like this.....

Coach:Hey you got Boner tonight.
Player:No I dont Coach, I dont feel it.
Coach:I'm talking about you guarding MAtt Boner tonight.
Player:Ahh ok I thought you noticed my wood.

There's plenty of Funny live Poker names, when David Benyamine and DAniel Negraneau was rumored to be busto, they called them David "No more" Benjamins and Daniel Negranoutofmoney, then there's MAria Ho, "Hey she's my Ho".

Some other names like Christian HArder, Sam Fartha, Jimmy Freaky and Cuban poker player names are kind a funny too.

Speaking of Cuba, five suspected terrorists was released from Guantanamo Bay US military prison, here's the link, http://www.topix.com/us/2008/11/judge-orders-release-of-five-guantanamo-bay-inmates.

But one suspected terrorist was not so lucky, he was sentenced to face Chuck Norris so his lawyers appealed and luckily his sentenced was reduced to death.

Well that's it for now, I will put more poker related stuff on my next blog, I like to give a shoutout to all my homies at pokermanila.com, thanks to Mr.chokol8ce, Mr.Throws, Mr.Krunch and Ms.Esposa for shipping me money on my stars account. You know what if my blog made you smile then send me some dinero, cents or dollars is appreciated, my Pokerstars id is "kobenator", thanks.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

World Poker Tour Babe

"If you think I'm sexy, common baby let me know", so the words from Rod Stewart's song.

Well there is this WPT Babe that I'm attracted to, no I'm not talking about Shana Hiatt or Mike Sexton, I'm talking about Ms.Linda Johnson.

There are three things that I look at when I'm watching her.

First is her dress, I like seeing Linda wearing low cut dresses that would reveal her cleavage, I get so excited when I see her giant melons.

Second is when she remove her eyeglasses and insert the temple part into her mouth, wow, just wow.

And lastly is when she again open her mouth and say's, "Shuffle up and deal", that's when I just cant control my self anymore, I just want to have sexy time with her, you know what I mean.

Speaking of WPT, yall know that you'll hear a lot of WPT when you're near Chuck Norris, coz that's the sound of his kick, punch and falling bodies. Wak, Pak & Tak

Below is her picture, enjoy,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Linda_Johnson

Well that's it for now, I will put more poker related stuff on my next blog, I like to give a shoutout to all my homies at pokermanila.com, thanks to Mr.chokol8ce, Mr.Throws, Mr.Krunch and Ms.Esposa for shipping me money on my stars account. You know what if my blog made you smile then send me some dinero, cents or dollars is appreciated, my Pokerstars id is "kobenator", thanks.

Monday, November 17, 2008

More important than Poker

I had to take a half day off work today, I went to Sylmar this morning to look for my Aunt who were affected by the fires. My Grandpa texted me from the Philippines saying to look for my Aunt in Sylmar Highschool and to check for there condition. Coming from a broken family I'm not that close to my Father's side of the family but seeing the devastation on TV I was compelled to drive down there.

Before I went there I cooked some porridge and put it on a big crock pot, it was hell getting to that area not only because of the traffic but some parts of the area you can't get into because the police considered the area a crime scene, apparently somebody set this fire intentionally. So when I got there, I brought the copy of the picture of my Aunt that I got from Friendster and start looking at the people. I saw my Aunt and she was so happy to see me, she gave me a hug and told me that her house is not burnt but they are not allowing them to go back at the moment.

She introduced me to her husband and 3 young kids, she said that Red Cross has been feeding them cold cut sandwiches and they seem satisfied. I told them that I cooked some porridge for the kids, My aunt helped me carry the porridge and when I opened the lid the aroma spread to the whole gym and immediately there are other people who wanted to partake. So I hurried up and gave my Aunt's kids plastic bowl and gave them bowl of porridge, I looked on to my Aunt and she gave me the look that they're ok and its ok to give away the remaining porridge. I explained to the other people that I didn't bring much and that the food would be beneficial to the children and they complied, there must have been at least 12 kids that went running and I gave them food until its all empty, I also gave a bowl to an elderly woman who said that she's a having a hard time chewing food, one parent cried thanking me.

I talked to my Aunt for almost an eternity, we exchanged call numbers and gave her the remaining supplies I bought for them. when I left the area, I saw a lot of people with worried look and most of them seem tired of crying, reminded me of my past when I could not afford anything, I still dont have much but I'm sure I'm better that some of these people who lost their houses on this fire. While I'm driving home there, I noticed that I could not stop crying.

I know yall accustomed to seeing funny anectdotes from me but today I wont, let's just pray for these people and more strength for the Firefighters who's putting there life on the line to put these fires out.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Women in Poker

I was playing NL online last night with two female poker players, they were talking about life in general, then suddenly the other other lady shared that she is breast feeding while playing. I was cool with that but not this kid who said, "Yuck, that's disgusting, we didn't need to know that". these two female players became Angry Vaginas alternately berating the kid until the poor kid left, I just kept quite which is unusual, I normally like to take part on these kind of situations.

Lots of good female poker players, Did you that Barbara Enright is the first female poker player who've reach the final table of the WSOP ME? Jennifer Tilly is not bad either, tiffany Michelle is the latest success story, she finished 17th on the last WSOP ME. KAthy Liebert is also an excellent poker player but many believes she's not a woman, apparently she's hanged like a horse.

Vagina plays a big part in mainstream poker, you see Vaginas during the money presentation, Vaginas also interviews poker players, a certain Vagina named Phillida HEllmuth also said that she can dodge bullet, baby.

Speaking of babies, Did yall know that not only did Chuck Norris punched his way out of his mother's womb, he also reached out for the scissor and cut his own umbilical cord?, now you know.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

STRAIGHT FLUSH BABY!!!!

Last Sunday, I went to my future in-laws house to pay my respect and to asked for their daughter's hand, they reluctantly said ok, they would have preferred my gf's ex who is a Doctor.

I helped out in preparing the food, met all my gf's family including Brusko, my gf's older brother who is gay. Let me tell you about Filipino gay guys, most prefer straight guys unlike here in the US where most gay guys settle with fellow gay guys.

So I was carrying this big plate of food and here comes Brusko smiling at me and said, "Hmmm, yummmy and I'm not talking about the food" then looked down to my genetalia area. I was stunned but I'm thinking he's just kidding, so I said, "wtf, I'm going to be your brother in law, why are you messing with me?", and he answered, "well, yall not married yet, I have more money and....my mouth is wider" and he left me laughing hysterically".

I was a bit offended but did not show it much like my attitude when I get bluffed on a pot but I'm steaming inside.. And he's right, I'm mainly marrying his sister for money and house, Brusko kind a ruined my day so I left early without my gf.

While driving my thoughts are about my incoming marriage and of course poker, so I exited Carson blvd and head down to Hawaiian gardens Casino.

I got seated on a $4/$8 LHE half kill pot game(it goes to $6/$12 when somebody wins twice in a row), after 30 minutes, I got involved on a kill pot, UTG, UTG+1 & MP all limped, so I limped too with my 3h4h, Button raised, SB 3 bet, I know this guy is very loose, that's why it was no surprised that everybody called him.

Flop was, 2h,6h,As
lots of betting and it got capped, 2 guys folded and 4 people saw the turn.

Turn, Jd,
SB bet, MP folded, I called and button raised and we both called.

River, 5h, filling up my straight flush
so board is 2h,6h,As,Jd,5h,

OMG, I cant believe this but I kept my composure, SB bet which he does all the time to get info, I raised him and Button 3 bets, SB disgustingly folded, We both re-raised one another until all my chips are in, he showed his AhKh and I happily showed my STRAIGHT FLUSH BABY. The pot is easily $500, I was so happy that I bought everybody a drink.

On the way home, I was thinking how my family would look like, doing a lot of chores like bringing my kid to school, attending parent meetings etc. Speaking of school, according to Chuck Norris's high school Pricipal, Chuck is the only one who can leave before the bell rings, one time a Teacher tried to stop chuck from leaving early, so Chuck gave him detention and made him write this lines , "I must not stop Chuck from leaving whenever he wants", the poor teacher did this for 5 hrs straight.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Poker Engagement

Well last night I hurried home so I can watch the Houston Rockets/Yao Ming(he's so sexy), so I grabbed the remote and there's a jewelry ring taped on it, and as soon as I removed the tape, my girlfriend came out of no where and went down on her knees and said, "Will you marry me?"

I paused for a moment and said yes, but my poker conscience has a question, so I said, "But please let me play poker while we're married ok?", and she said yes too, so its like we both proposed to one another, how weird is that.

Anyway, she's loaded and I see the word bankroll on her forehead, I mentioned that to her and she responded with, "really, funny coz I also see a word on your forehead and its D-O-N-K-E-Y".

So now that I'm engaged, we were thinking that we should emulate this dance for our wedding reception, this is from the movie SAturday Night Fever, see below link, what yall think?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZCtgFmQvjQ

I tried to contact my buddy Chuck Norris to advise him of this important stage in my life but he's not in a good mood, he just got back from an L.A. Court, somebody accused Chuck of "ATTEMPTED MURDER" but the case got thrown out and the Judge explained that Chuck never "ATTEMPTS", if the guy is still alive then its not Chuck who did it, case closed.

Well that's it for now, I will put more poker related stuff on my next blog, I like to give a shoutout to all my homies at pokermanila.com, thanks to Mr.chokol8ce, Mr.Throws, Mr.Krunch and Ms.Esposa for shipping me money on my stars account. You know what if my blog made you smile then send me some dinero, cents or dollars is appreciated, my Pokerstars id is "kobenator", thanks.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Las Vegas Cutbacks

As yall know the economy is not doing good so there are massive layoffs and cutbacks in Las Vegas and these are some of the cutbacks we heard.

-at the MGM, they fired all the Lion feeders and will instead just use some of their poker dealers to feed these Lions, goodluck with that.

-at the Hilton, they have a hired a Barry Manilow look alike to take over the show, apparently Barry is too expensive, so they hired another gay guy and his name is Clay Aiken.

-at the Bellagio, to save money on the water shows, they connected all sewers to the fountain so they can use customer's urine and spit for the water show, so yall better change your clothes if you get wet from this show.

-at the Excalibur, PaiGow dealers are being asked to help prepare the nightly buffet especially when Louie Anderson and Jimmy Fricke is in the house.

-Las VEgas Whore companies will no longer hire illegals to distribute porn ads, they will instead use some of their aging or least attractive aka fugly prostitutes to give out these ads.

-Stations casinos have replace their cleaning staff with dogs, apparently these dogs can lick the rooms clean.

-The Mayor also laid off the whole police force and replace them with Delta Force aka Chuck "mothafaka" Norris.

-and lastly, no more of this dam tours.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0U0G9OT_yq4

Well that's it for now, I will put more poker related stuff on my next blog, I like to give a shoutout to all my homies at pokermanila.com, thanks to Mr.chokol8ce, Mr.Throws, Mr.KRunch and Ms.Esposa for shipping me money on my stars account. You know what if my blog made you smile then send me some dinero, cents or dollars is appreciated, it's good for you and me, my Pokerstars id is "kobenator", thanks.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Almost won a no-look Sit n Go

Yesterday morning I got bored and decided to mimic what Annette Obrestad did, I put a tape on my monitor so I wont have to see my hands.

Here are the guidelines that I followed playing this $6.50 no look 6 man sit n go.
1.Fold to any raise, no matter how big and what position.
2.Only play on LP and miniraise if no limpers.
3.Limp when somebody else limps.
4.Always bet when it get checks to me and check to the river if I get called and fold to any bet.

So I did all of this and got lucky to get to a headsup situation and I just kept going all in and he must have folded a shitload of hands before he got tired and called me with T8 suited and he deservingly won, it was fun and yall should try it too.

After the game I looked at the hand history of this no look sit n go and I actually folded a lot of good hands from EP and from raises. I missed playing two AK, one Pocket Kings, one Pocket Tens and one AQs.

For all yall fellow Chuck Norris fans, For all yall fellow Chuck Norris fans, I'm sad to inform that they will not be putting his face on Mount Rushmore, the granite rocks are not strong enough to hold Chuck's beard.