Rough Month

$%$#%&W#^*&$@##$@@^&

I just cant win this month, both live and online, I decided to stop playing live and at FT, will just play micro games at PS.

Yesterday was the worse, I wanted to break my pc and my flat screen TV but opted to just punish my wife. Threw her on the bed and just slap her all over her body and gave her the roughest sex i could remember. She cried after the session, i said sorry but she said, "this is tears of joy honey, i didnt know u can be rough, i love it but next time tell me so i can buy more salonpas", wtf.

Legendary Pepe Smith

Pokermanila is the first pokersite that hit the Philippines and since then a couple of copycats have popped out. Well thank you to CEO Pepe Smith Pokermanila is still the no. 1 pokersite in the Philippines.

It took hard work though from Pepe, he improved the overall appearance of the site, used latest web technology and added a lot of cool stuff.

Well done Pepe and if there is ever a hall of fame for Pinoy Poker then you need to be inducted someday.

Lets give him a roaring round of applause.

Got Donkey Milk?

Asses’ milk or donkey’s milk is the milk given by the female ass or donkey. It has been used since Egyptian antiquity for both alimentary and cosmetic reasons.

Donkey milk is considered to be the closest to woman’s milk.[1][3] It is very nourishing because it contains more lactose and less fat than cow’s milk.[1] It was used until the beginning of the twentieth century as a substitute to breast milk.[5] The 1928 testimony of Dr. Charles Porcher (1872-1933) of the Lyon National Veterinary Institution showed that the practice was still used, to a lesser extent, in the interwar years:

It seems that we are getting back to asses’ milk to raise children in the earliest infancy, notably when the child is of delicate health. Asses’ milk has not been quite totally abandoned, but if 25 or 30 years ago, a few well looked-after asses were easily found in the city to provide milk nourishing young babies, it is no longer the case today.[6]
More recently, studies have shown that that asses’ milk could serve as an alternative to cow’s milk for children allergic to bovine proteins.[4][7]

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I think this milk will make me younger and good at Pokahhh, wooooohoooo, I just ordered 3 boxes online.

Rush Strategy

I just learned that I lose less when I play a max of two Rush tables, so I'll stick to that.

Fulltilt Achievement BAdges

Your Fulltilt avatar now has four badges around it, Everybody has a T on the bottom left corner but mine is F, and everytime i put the pointer on it, it says, "Fish, Fish, Fish, you are a Fish and we are letting everybody know".

F*ck You Fulltilt! !!!

Peter Eastgate Won 9 Million and Quitting Poker

If i win 9 million, i will continue playing at a micro level in Manila or Thailand, i will grind the 10 NL and smile everytime i get bad beat, probably visit Metro Card Club once a month.

My other passion is french vanilla ice cream, better than sex baby, f*ck hot women, i dont need them, I wont even visit the massage parlors to get a quickie, I dont enjoy sex at all and I have reluctantly f*ck so many hot women in the past.

Ready to Quit

For the past two months, my online bankroll just went down the drain, I keep losing left and right, no matter what I play, mtt's, sng's, cash games, holdem, 7 card stud, omaha, you name it.

Grrrrrrrrrrr, I'm thinking online poker is just a waste of time, On the other hand, I'm winning so far on live Limit cash games.

Don't tell me to read books coz I read all the books, Harrington, Brunson, Pearjammer, David Pham(even thought it's in Vienamese), I even read Liebert's cook books hoping I'll find something there.

I tried to sell my soul to the Devil but he declined coz my soul apparently smells like fish.

M - Ratio is one of my leaks

M-ratio

In no-limit or pot-limit poker, a player's M-ratio (also called "M number", "M factor"[1] or just "M") is a measure of the health of his chip stack as a function of the cost to play each round. In simple terms, a player can sit passively in the game, making only compulsory bets, for M laps of the dealer button before running out of chips. A high M means the player can afford to wait a number of rounds before making a move. The concept applies primarily in tournament poker; in a cash game, a player can in principle manipulate his M at will, simply by purchasing more chips.
A player with a low M must act soon or be weakened by the inability to force other players to fold with aggressive raises.

The term was invented and named by Paul Magriel.

Men "The Master" Nguyen

Last night I pee'd next to Men, I purposely look at his dingdong but could not see a damn thing, its too short, all i see is a steady stream of urine, he finally notice me and gave me that angry look and he said,

Men:Wat u lookin at?

NArdong Putik:who me?, uhh (I could not think of anything to say until this come out)

Nardong Putik: oohh I'm missing some tournament chips, I'm just making sure you are not hiding it down there.

Men:$#^#^&*@$##!@#%$

Patrik Antonius

Im next in line for a Taxi at Mcarran Airport while PAtrik Antonius is at the back of the line, I looked at him and for some reason he posed like he does when you open your Fulltilt lobby and that did it, I told him I'll share a Taxi with him, damn this guy is goodlooking but I was able to contain myself. He made me hold his...............mirror while he looks at himself the entire trip to Bellagio, goodtimes.

And he was kind enough to make me pay for the cab fare.

Poker is All Luck

Texas Hold'em is not a skill game, says Swiss high court 02.06.2010 15:17

Swiss high court has deemed Texas Hold'em a game of chance in a recent decision. This means that only casinos are allowed to hold poker tournaments for money in the country.

Texas Hold'em tournaments in restaurants and hotels have been popular but the Swiss casinos demanded the sole right to organize these tournaments. According to the Finnish newspaper Helsingin Sanomat, the High Court in Switzerland took the side of the casinos, saying that luck was the dominant factor in the game instead of strategy, psychology or mathematics.

However, the Swiss are still allowed to hold home games for money.

*******************************************************
Damn, no wonder i dont win, all this time I thought my time would come because I've been honing my poker skill, and now finally I seen the light, I'm just not lucky.

I'm sure somebody would tell the Swiss to just keep making chocolate and watches and stfu, lol.

No more money in Poker, Everybody is Lucky

Down Swingers

Downswings are not fun, i hope i recover, my fulltilt money is almost gone, wahhhhh!!!.

Addicted to Ms. Rush

Wow Im so addicted to this new poker craze Rush Poker its not even funny, I cant seem to clean the house and the wife is giving me all kinds of nagging. I wonder if i should check my self into rehab or just dump the wife, lol.

Im not even good at it and my br went down to $30 but I used my $26 ticket and was able to win a cool $108 on a matrix sng, so now Im up to around $138, I will continue to grind until money is all gone or maybe Fulltilt rakeback will save me and let me continue with my addiction. We shall see, as the song goes, "I'm addicted to you babe, you're a hard habit to break...."

You are playing too much when...Part III

When taking a big dump and constipating, you keep shouting, "one time dealer one time".

When u call your fat girlfriend, massive chip leader

Queen of Rush Poker

Every morning for the past two weeks, I see Ms. Soraya Homam, she is fulltilt pro, she plays 25 NL/50NL Rush Poker and she is the first Iranian woman I know who plays poker. She took my money AA>KK but somehow I dont feel bad, she is very tight and only one table 25NL and 50 NL.

Feel free to share if you have seen other pros playing Rush Poker.

You are playing too much when...Part II

when ur ideal MILF's are KAthy Liebert and Linda Johnson, lol.

Straight Flush and Quads on the same Minute

Full Tilt Poker Game - Table Apollo - $0.10/$0.25 - No Limit Hold'em - 1:24:03 ET - 2010/04/08

Seat 1: BH-Stoneface ($32.59)

Seat 2: FRANKENKING ($12.25)

Seat 3: riverbegood1 ($10.55)

Seat 4: IYFF ($45.34)

Seat 5: Hero ($18)

Seat 6: LordofTheRing ($28.96)

Seat 7: SavagePenguin ($41.06)

Seat 8: Yusuf89 ($31.56)

Seat 9: lbbarcelos ($38.80)

FRANKENKING posts the small blind of $0.10

riverbegood1 posts the big blind of $0.25

The button is in seat #1 *** HOLE CARDS ***

Dealt to Hero [Qh Kh]

IYFF has 8 seconds left to act IYFF folds

Hero has 8 seconds left to act Hero calls $0.25

LordofTheRing calls $0.25

SavagePenguin folds

Yusuf89 folds

lbbarcelos has 8 seconds left to act

lbbarcelos raises to $1.25

BH-Stoneface folds

FRANKENKING folds

riverbegood1 folds

Hero calls $1

LordofTheRing calls $1

*** FLOP *** [Ts Jh Th]

Hero checks

LordofTheRing checks

lbbarcelos checks

*** TURN *** [Ts Jh Th] [8d]

Hero checks

LordofTheRing checks

lbbarcelos bets $2 Hero calls $2

LordofTheRing folds

*** RIVER *** [Ts Jh Th 8d] [9h]

Hero has 15 seconds left to act Hero bets $4.75

lbbarcelos has 15 seconds left to act

lbbarcelos calls $4.75

*** SHOW DOWN ***

Hero shows [Qh Kh] a straight flush, King high

lbbarcelos mucks

Hero wins the pot ($16.72) with a straight flush, King high

*** SUMMARY ***

Total pot $17.60 Rake $0.88 Board: [Ts Jh Th 8d 9h]

Seat 1: BH-Stoneface (button) didn't bet (folded)

Seat 2: FRANKENKING (small blind) folded before the Flop

Seat 3: riverbegood1 (big blind) folded before the Flop

Seat 4: IYFF didn't bet (folded)

Seat 5: Hero showed [Qh Kh] and won ($16.72) with a straight flush, King

high

Seat 6: LordofTheRing folded on the Turn

Seat 7: SavagePenguin didn't bet (folded)

Seat 8: Yusuf89 didn't bet (folded)

Seat 9: lbbarcelos mucked [Jd Ac] - two pair, Jacks and Tens

Full Tilt Poker Game - Table Apollo - $0.10/$0.25 - No Limit Hold'em - 1:24:42 ET - 2010/04/08 Seat

1: Hero ($18)

Seat 2: Kukubumunuluku ($24.75)

Seat 3: pinkyfloyd81 ($62.93)

Seat 4: Stars Master ($21.33)

Seat 5: BudWiseUp ($31.67)

Seat 6: 2Uber ($31.79)

Seat 7: brandon1717 ($25)

Seat 8: Stork E ($25)

Seat 9: aaronbeq ($14.62)

2Uber posts the small blind of $0.10

brandon1717 posts the big blind of $0.25

The button is in seat #5

*** HOLE CARDS ***

Dealt to Hero [4s 4c]

Stork E folds aaronbeq folds

Hero calls $0.25

Kukubumunuluku folds

pinkyfloyd81 folds

Stars Master folds

BudWiseUp folds

2Uber raises to $1

brandon1717 calls $0.75

Hero calls $0.75

*** FLOP *** [4h 4d 3h]

2Uber bets $2.50

brandon1717 folds

Hero calls $2.50

*** TURN *** [4h 4d 3h] [Qc]

2Uber bets $7.25 Hero has 15 seconds left to act

Hero calls $7.25

*** RIVER *** [4h 4d 3h Qc] [Th]

2Uber checks

Hero bets $7.25, and is all in

2Uber calls $7.25

*** SHOW DOWN ***

Hero shows [4s 4c] four of a kind,

Fours 2Uber mucks

Hero wins the pot ($35.15) with four of a kind, Fours

*** SUMMARY *** Total pot $37 Rake $1.85

Board: [4h 4d 3h Qc Th]

Seat 1: Hero showed [4s 4c] and won ($35.15) with four of a kind, Fours

Seat 2: Kukubumunuluku didn't bet (folded)

Seat 3: pinkyfloyd81 didn't bet (folded)

Seat 4: Stars Master didn't bet (folded)

Seat 5: BudWiseUp (button) didn't bet (folded)

Seat 6: 2Uber (small blind) mucked [Jh Qd] - two pair, Queens and Fours

Seat 7: brandon1717 (big blind) folded on the Flop

Seat 8: Stork E didn't bet (folded)

Seat 9: aaronbeq didn't bet (folded)

FTOPS/SCOOP

Time is almost here for FTOPS/SCOOP events, last time I lost a pretty substantial amount of money staking players but I'm not a quitter.

This time though i'm gonna be frugal, I will only use $2,000(but I'm sure it's gonna be more) and hopefully I can triple this money, so I can have my sex change in Thailand(oops, too much info).

Ricky Martin is Gay

Damn you Ricky!!!

I thought he was just a little flamboyant but never thought he's gay. This has tilted me all day today, I own all of Ricky's CD's and i listen to them when i play poker. Timeless songs like Livin la vida homo and he bangs.

Wow I'm so devastated I just hope David Hasslehoff is not gay coz i also listen to his music, that would really piss me off and will tilt me to the point of losing my entire bankroll.

Downswings are not fun

I'm on a massive downswing this month, so i decided to stop playing online poker for the rest of March, I'm just gonna rail high stakes/nosebleed cash games.

Isildur,Durrrr,Cole South, Ziigmund, Hastings, Townsend and other lesser known high stakes players are fun to watch.

Phii Ivey's Momma

Phil Ivey's Momma is so fat she calls Howard Lederer tiny.

Phil Ivey's Momma is so ugly, when she walks into a casino, they turn off the surveillance cameras.

BarryG is not Gay

I heard from my mole that Barry was spotted in couple of gay bars in manila, he goes all in and move to the next one, lol.

Hard to read Daniel Negraneau

Only one person can read Daniel Negraneau and that's Phil Ivey, and his read is,
"this dude is ghey".

Barry Greenstein spotted in the Philippines

My friends at Metro Card Poker room in the Philipines have texted me and said that BarryG did not even play the high limit area, he mingled with the low limit degens. I'm now officially a Barry Greenstein fan, although something in my mind likes to believe that the reason why Barry is in Philippines is to pick up Asian chicks which is one of his expertise.

see below link for pictures,
http://pilipinaspoker.com/forum/index.php/topic,1571.msg24729/topicseen.html#new

Rush Poker

I've been playing Rush poker cash games at Fulltilt since its inception and sorry to find out PTR does not support Rush Poker or their software can not handle the new Poker craze.

Anyway my girlfriend loves Rush Poker too and she can line this is, up there with tampons as the best invention of all times.

Online Cash Games Will Even get Tougher

The following blog post does not really belong to me but from another forum but I like to quote him because I kinda share the same sentiment, the discussion is about online poker cash games being tougher nowadays.


There seems to two shared fantasy in this community regarding fishy players

1) Poor players are too stupid to get better over time

2) Poor players have infinite resources available to keep dumping into playing online poker

I lurk around these forums and find both of these fantasies repeated over and over in various forms ... and they are exactly that ... fantasies ... having nothing to do with the reality of what if means to be a bad online poker player.

I speak from personal experience, as a bad player. I'm very happy to report that I'm what is affectionately known as a FISHY player. I'm your dream customer, and not embarrassed to admit it even in the slightest. How do I know I'm a bad player ? Easy .... it's because I lose more often than I win. A lot more often.

But being a fishy player does not make me a STUPID person ... and this is the point that is so often overlooked on forums such as this. Because I can do the math pretty well .. and at the end of the month ... my lack of stellar results cannot be denied. The red color of my results is all there in black and white on my credit card bill ... each and every month. And that's exactly why I so rarely play online poker any more.

And there are millions of others just like me ... MILLIONS. Countless players who for whatever reason don't want to take the time and concentration required to be able to beat the current incarnation of the online version of our favorite game. So that's why I play live now .. which is just fine ... because when you are a BAD ONLINE PLAYER .... playing live is a lot more fun anyway.

Online poker is obviously doomed as a way to make an "easy" living. And even as a tough living, it's obviously coming to an end sooner rather than later. In very short order, the game has becoming a remarkably sophisticated and difficult profession. Like so many other 'soft' ways to make a buck in this tough old world ... very quickly there is an explosion of smart people intent on taking their own piece of the pie. Because at the end of the day, it's just not THAT difficult to become a solid online player ... plenty of resources exist to help one become a stronger player ... IF you are willing to put in the time. Those who are so willing become the regs who post on this forum ... those who are not so willing become the fish who feed the regs for a short while ... until the day they decide it's not that much fun of a hobby to be shark food ... and they move on .. just like I did.

Regardless of the proposed change in US laws regarding online gambling ... at the end of the day ... there are simply far too many good players now to make the experience of being a fish even remotely fun. The new laws (which probably won't pass anyway) will hardly become the Nirvana that so many people on here hope that it will. There are simply too many strong players now ... if you look at the game from the perspective of the fish ... it's just not something very fun to do in one's spare time any more.

I'm guessing 90 percent of the current crop of US based online "pros" will leave the "profession" within the next two or three years. Regardless of the changes in laws. The reality is the same as it has always been regarding playing poker as a profession ... if one is smart enough to beat the game .. one is smart enough to make far greater amounts of money doing something more worthwhile. This is just the way it is.

Thirty years ago I dropped out of college and moved to Vegas to play poker which I did for about nine months ... I beat the game okay .... and thought I had found my life's calling. Until one day I found myself sitting next to an old guy named Johnny Moss who basically talked me into going back to school in one sentence. Moss told me that there is no sadder life than one where your BEST day is finding a table to sit at all day long with eight people stupider than you. His words stuck with me for the next few weeks ... and eventually led me to quit playing poker for a living ... and going to find work instead making video games ... I never looked back .. and it was without question the best decision I ever made.

No doubt this post will receive the standard put downs and insults reserved for 'outsiders' who post on this forum .... and that's fine. I'm sort of looking forward to it, actually. But if one person out there at least thinks about the message here ... it's worth it. Because I know that reading this is at least one person who is giving serious consideration to leaving this profession and going back to the "real world" they abandoned so that they could play poker for their daily bread. Yeah .. the games really are a lot tougher know then they were even a year ago. Sure, you can get better, study more, hang tough, etc.

But just know that it's a blessing that the games are becoming a lot tougher ... and you are considering leaving this profession and finding an "honest" living so to speak. Because if you are smart enough to beat this game, especially in it's current form ... [B]you are smart enough to make TONS more money and live a more fulfilling life doing something else. [/B] It's so not even close

Masters Degree in History

Did you guys know that Dr. Brian Townsend have a Masters Degree in History,

Poker Hand History that is, lol and he is ready to challenge Isildur again now that his suspension has been lifted.

Suspects on the EPT Robbery

1. Deuce Bigalow(European gigolo)
2. Hans Vogl(GErman busto player)
3. JAson Bourne(Ex CIA)
4. Robinhood
5. The fish from Finding Nemo
6. Conan Obrien
7. Bart Simpson
8. Chucky Cheese
9. Danny Ocean
10.Mr. Kathy Liebert
11.DAvid Hasslehoff (famous in Germany for singing, i dunno how but i guess Germans have weird taste)
12.Siegfred and Roy(German Gays)

Poker Quotes

"Poker is like sex - everyone thinks they're the best, but most people don't have a clue what they're doing." -Dutch Boyd

"Poker is like sex - everyone thinks they're the best, but the truth is y'all have a small penis." -Me

Another Royal Flush

PokerStars Game #38840365116: Hold'em No Limit ($0.10/$0.25 USD) - 2010/01/27 23:44:16 ET Table 'Periphas' 9-max
Seat #6 is the button
Seat 1: Satanas27 ($25.15 in chips)
Seat 2: kaizokusai ($5 in chips)
Seat 3: lapointe1111 ($5.50 in chips)
Seat 4: BluesGrinder ($22.60 in chips)
Seat 5: MyPlaySucks ($25 in chips)
Seat 6: SirLinderoth ($24.40 in chips)
Seat 7: Hero ($15.20 in chips)
Seat 8: Canton_Kid2 ($11.95 in chips)
Seat 9: wicklie ($10 in chips)
hero: posts small blind $0.10
Canton_Kid2: posts big blind $0.25
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Hero [Kc Qc]
wicklie: folds
Satanas27: raises $0.25 to $0.50
kaizokusai: folds
lapointe1111: folds
BluesGrinder: folds
MyPlaySucks: calls $0.50
SirLinderoth: calls $0.50
Hero: raises $1 to $1.50
Canton_Kid2: folds Satanas27: calls $1
MyPlaySucks: folds
SirLinderoth: folds

*** FLOP *** [Ah Jc Ac]
Hero: checks
Satanas27: checks
*** TURN *** [Ah Jc Ac] [4d]
Hero: bets $2
Satanas27: calls $2
*** RIVER *** [Ah Jc Ac 4d] [Tc]
hero: bets $4
Satanas27: folds
Uncalled bet ($4) returned to hero
hero collected $7.85 from pot
hero: doesn't show hand

Farting Fish

I like to say that i have done stuff in the past to keep the fish in the game I'm on, like buying him drink, complementing and sympathizing as to how unlucky he is, but I never thought i would go as low as this.

I was playing $9/$18 LHE at the Commerce casino and there is this big fish on my right that's just giving away his money, so we are all just taking turns taking his money and we want to get more. Then suddenly he farted , and at the spur of the moment I've decided to own it and said "Ooops Sorry guys, i ate too much" even though everybody knows the big fish is the one who farted. Sure enough the fish stayed and dumped another $500 before he realized limit holdem is not for him, after he left one guy gave me a high five.

As I was driving home I felt this disgust about myself and thinking, "Wow I cant believe I just did that", but then I looked at my wallet and saw an extra $430, i just shrugged it off and vowed to do it again.

Anyway, please feel free to share your experience if you have done things to keep the fish in the game.